LET YOUR BODY DO THE TALKING
We all hunt for the perfect chat-up line, but in reality, our body gives away a great deal before we open our mouth. It is estimated that when you meet a stranger, their impression of you is based 55 per cent on your appearance and body language, 38 per cent on your style of speaking and a mere 7 per cent on what you actually say.
So what can we learn from the experts? There are a number of actions that signal “I like you” to another person. Adopting an open posture (no folded arms), and mirroring another’s posture help create a feeling of affinity. Most people are not conscious of being mirrored, but evaluate those who do it more favourably. And it is worth adopting stances that enhance your masculinity or femininity, such as placing hands in pockets with elbows out to enlarge the chest.
You could also indulge in a “gestural dance”, synchronising your gestures and body movements with those of the object of your desire, such as taking a sip of your drinks at the same time.
EXPERIENCE FEAR TOGETHER
A dramatic setting can kick-start your love life. Meeting a stranger when physiologically aroused increases the chance of having romantic feelings towards them …
It’s all because of a strong connection between anxiety, arousal and attraction. In the “shaky bridge study” carried out by psychologists Arthur Aron and Don Dutton in the 1970s, men who met a woman on a high, rickety bridge found the encounter sexier and more romantic than those who met her on a low, stable one. A visit to the funfair works wonders too. Photos of members of the opposite sex were more attractive to people who had just got off a roller coaster, compared with those who were waiting to get on. And couples were more loved-up after watching a suspense-filled thriller than a calmer film. Why? No one is sure, but the adrenaline rush from the danger might be misattributed to the thrill of attraction. But beware: while someone attractive becomes more so in a tense setting, the unattractive appear even less appealing.
SHARE A JOKE
An experience that makes you laugh creates feelings of closeness between strangers. A classic example comes from experiments carried out by US psychologists Arthur Aron and Barbara Fraley, in which strangers cooperated on playful activities such as learning dance steps, but with one partner wearing a blindfold and the other holding a drinking straw in their mouth to distort speech. Sounds stupid, but love and laughter really did go together. You can read about it in “The effect of a shared humorous experience on closeness in initial encounters” in the journal Personal relationships. We suggest that the blindfold/drinking straw approach is best confined to the laboratory.
GET THE SOUNDTRACK RIGHT
Psychologists at North Adams State college in Massachusetts have proved what Shakespeare suggested – that music is the food of love. Well, rock music, at least. Women evaluating photos of men rated them more attractive while listening to soft-rock music, compared with avant-garde jazz or no music at all.
USE LOVE POTIONS?
Can you short-cut all the hard work of relationship-building by artificial means? People have been trying to crack this one for thousands of years. A nasal spray containing the hormone oxytocin can make people trust you – an important part of any relationship – though there’s no evidence yet to suggest it can make someone fall in love. And while we wouldn’t suggest you try this at Home, studies on prairie voles show that injecting the hormone vasopressin into the brain makes males bond strongly to females. Illegal drugs such as cocaine or amphetamines can simulate the euphoria of falling in love by raising levels of the neurotransmitter dopamine, but dopamine levels can also be increased legally by exercising. Another neurotransmitter, phenylethylamine (PEA), is tagged the “love molecule” because it induces feelings of excitement and apprehension. PEA is found in chocolate and it, too, is linked to the feel-good effects of exercise. Overall, a swift jog could be more conducive to love than anything you might find in a bottle.
GAZE INTO THEIR EYES
Any flirt knows that making eye contact is an emotionally loaded act. Now psychologists have shown just how powerful it can be. When pairs of strangers were asked to gaze into each other’s eyes, it was perhaps not surprising that their feelings of closeness and attraction rocketed compared with, say, gazing at each other’s hands. More surprising was that a couple in one such experiment ended up getting married. Neuroscientists have shed some light on what’s going on: meeting another person’s gaze lights up brain regions associated with rewards. The bottom line is that eye contact can work wonders, but make sure you get your technique right: if your gaze isn’t reciprocated, you risk coming across as a stalker.
This article is sponsored by ECPod.com, a social network website to connect China and the world. Perhaps also a good place for you to find a chinese date, make friends and test our methods: http://www.ecpod.com
If you are a bachelor you have undoubtedly dreamed about marrying a younger woman. Maybe a sexy college co-ed, a splendid young businesswoman or your kid’s gorgeous young teacher.. This is only normal for a man to look at fabulous younger women, who might be anywhere from twenty to sixty depending on the age of the man, and be attracted to them, but are you really ready to marry a younger woman?
However, you need to ask yourself a few questions. First, are you interested in a particular young woman or younger women in particular? This is a critical question. Whenever there is a escalating common attraction between you and a certain younger woman, regardless of the age difference, that is almost certainly a positive.
Conversely, if you are just chasing younger women, because they are younger women that is almost certainly a sign of problems. If you believe that younger women are really totally different emotionally and psychologically than older women you are just kidding yourself. They are just in different places in life, however taken as a whole they have the same dreams, demands, and fears as more seasoned women. You will never be able to mislead them or mislead them, well not for long. You should definitely surrender any overt or subliminal dreams to control a younger woman, because this is probably the single most corrosive thought that can creep in to any relationship and it will inevitably ruin the marriage.
So, there is nothing drastically wrong about considering seeing and perhaps marrying a younger woman, but do not fixate on it.
Secondly, are you adult enough for this? You understand the underlying causes of malfunction in your previous relationships and some, perhaps even almost all, of the blame for those disappointments was yours. Be honest with yourself and try to grow as a human being. If you do not acknowledge your own weak spots you are just asking for of pain and embarrassment.
Third, are you prepared for the reaction from friends and family? You think you know what to expect, but it is almost certainly best to approach the subject carefully. If you have children, especially if they are close to the age of your new wife, they are going to be astonished. Be frank with them, and let them know that this new relationship makes you incredibly happy and does not alter your love for them.
If there could be elaborate inheritance issues, especially involving a family business, you will almost certainly be a lot better off to get these very clear before you finalize the marriage, so that you, your new wife, and your children all understand the situation. This may require a prenup agreement, updating your will, or transforming the structure of your business, but getting it taken care of will substantially decrease the stress between your kids and your new wife.
In many cases men who decide they’re interested in younger women go after mail order brides. Once again, there is not a single thing wrong with that, considering that actually the best research indicates that these relationships actually have a higher success level than other marriages. Still, do your due diligence, use a good company, and be honest with the woman you are courting from the beginning. Be honest about your wealth, your approach to life, and how you feel about having children, because these are things a woman should comprehend before she gets involved with a man.
Last but not least, are you accommodating enough to marry a younger woman? She will surprise you, because she has grown up in a totally different world from you. In outstanding May-December marriages this is what helps to keep the spark still living, but you have to be ready to see that these surprises bring you both closer together.
2008, Salt Lake City, Utah, USA, ISU World Cup Short Track Speed Skating, in the womens 3000m relay, the chinese team of Qiuhong Liu, Mei Wang, Hui Zhong, and Yang Zhou break the world record by two seconds, four minutes, 7.179 seconds. (Universal Sports, UniversalSports.com)
Asian dating online is quite a huge market and thousands of Asians join online agencies to be matched to suitable mates. You can be sure to find what you are looking for when you take a leap of faith. Asians may want to date people from other cultures and backgrounds. When it comes to online dating, there are no limitations. A search on the Internet will reveal many Asian online dating sites and, you have no excuse not to take advantage of them. Asian Romance is one of the most popular Asian dating online site. There are very many things you can expect from this site. The first one is that you have the opportunity to expand your social network. You can also hook up your circles of single friends. In the process, you are guaranteed to have lots of fun. Like many other services, Asian online dating services are easy to join but, you have to know the sites that will offer you a good service.
Asian dating online sites will usually have a lot of information. For example, many of the Asian sites for dating have resource centers. If you are a single Asian, you will get to learn more about all aspects related to Asian dating. For example, you get to know the hot spots for Asian singles. These spots might be for entertainment, arts, finance and even shopping. All these will be vital as you embark on a journey to find a suitable mate. Other things to expect when you are a single Asian planning to date online is information on travel and other events. Therefore, a site like Asian romance will be a good place to start your search. Just like other dating sites, it is pretty easy to join and all the information you need will be provided. One thing that is always vital to consider is the amount of money you have to pay for the service. You might need to go through a few sites to compare the price. Free Asian dating online sites are not very uncommon.
When you are preparing to join an Asian dating online site, it is vital to have some prior advise on dating. The sites will have many guides to facilitate your process of finding a special person in your life. Many of the things you should know about dating cut across cultural barriers and, anybody can find them very helpful. The first thing has to do with the profiles you create. You need to be very honest about this information if you want to meet someone who will trust you. Also, you need to state clearly, what you are looking for in a man or woman. More importantly, you need to overcome feelings of unworthiness. This will ensure that you have enough confidence to start a new relationship. It is not very easy to achieve this kind of confidence; many Asian sites will guide you on how to achieve this. Having fun while searching for a soul mate is the one thing you are guaranteed of.
Text and Captions by Hannah Clayborn – Copyright (c) 2009 – Turner Publishing Company, Nashville, TN 37219
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The book “Historic Photos of the Chinese in California” recently came into my possession. It looked like the standard coffee table book of photos. However, there was something about the picture on the cover that caused me to examine it carefully. I was then compelled to turn it over and look at the nine photos reproduced on the back cover. Each one commanded a bit of my time to study it fully. I was drawn to each photo.
I found the same thing happened when I opened the book. I was not able to put it down and, in fact went completely through it twice, and no doubt will visit it again.
Being a California native, I have a modicum of knowledge about how the Chinese fit into the development of California. I think most of us know there was a significant Chinese contribution to the establishment of the railroads, at least in the west, but the enormous offering made to railroad construction overshadowed some of their other contributions to California. Having lived in northern California, I was also aware of the hundreds of miles of rock walls built by the Chinese as fences for the ranchers marking the boundaries of their lands. Beyond that, I knew very little of California Chinese history.
Hannah Clayborn has done a stellar job of bringing some of the other Chinese contributions to light by way of an excellent photographic journal, combined with on-target comments and captions. Like many others, the Chinese were attracted to California in part as a result of the Gold Rush. However, because they were unable to own land or file gold claims they mostly ended up working for others for very low laborer’s wages. Their dreams of riches by way of gold were pretty much wiped away.
In 1850 there were 25,000 Chinese in California as recorded in California’s 1852 census. Many left the gold fields to seek employment and income elsewhere. As Chinese women were somewhat restricted from immigrating, this was a largely male population and a very able work force. By 1870 Chinese made up ten percent of California’s population, but accounted for almost 25 percent of the unskilled labor force. Chinese laborers were active in farming, fishing, sharecropping resulting in vegetable sales and other menial labor-intensive tasks as well as working the gold fields. In addition they proved to be very adept as cooks and shopkeepers.
While I am able to relay a bit of Chinese history here, I want to credit Hannah Clayborn, as this book is the only reference I used as a source of information. If you have found what I have written interesting, I must tell you it pales in comparison to Hannah’s book. The book “Historic Photos of the Chinese in California” is a must see. From beginning to end, with hundreds of photos and comments, the history unfolds. If you are at all like me you will be spellbound.
I understand this review may seem more like a promotional piece for the book rather than an objective review, but there was just no other way I could write it. This book is an exciting piece of work.